FlagFootballANIME STYLE!
by WinryRockbell6390
Summary: Ever wonder what it would be like to see anime characters play flag football? Well try RK,IY,YYH,WR,DBGT,Digimon,KH,FLCL, & PSOH in an all-out football duel! Serious crossover! And hosted by Kasumi & Naiomi, two demons who have issues.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: We don't own any characters from Inuyasha, Wolf's Rain, YYH, DBGT, FLCL, Pet Shop of Horrors, Digimon, KH, or RK. But we DO own Naiomi & Kasumi. Brittany Spears, Janet Jackson, Josh Groban, Usher, & Mario Winians own themselves [Naiomi: even though I'd like to own Usher...;) Kasumi: knocks Naiomi out with a frying pan]  
**  
Naiomi: welcome to the stupidest, weirdest-  
  
Kasumi: SHUT UP! Welcome to the funniest Flag-football game you'll ever see! Today we have the so called "Heroes"  
  
Naiomi: they are Inuyasha, Miroku, Teeny Tiny little Myoga, Kiba, Hige, Tsume, Toboe, Yuskue, Kuwabara, Kurama, Hiei, Goku, Naota, Tai, Matt, Joe, Riku, Sora, Donald, Goofy, Sanosuke "Sano" Sagara, Sito (if you don't know him...tough luck) & Vegeta who is filling in for his son, Trunks.  
  
Kasumi: and the villains are Koga, Naraku, Fluffy-sama......  
  
Sesshomaru: HEY!  
  
Kasumi: continuing on! Quent.....By the way Quent no sake aloud in the stadium!!!!  
  
Quent: NOOOOO!!!!!!!!!! runs away screaming in sorrow  
  
Kasumi: Okay..... As I was saying......Darcia, Suzaku, Baby, Freiza(1st form), Kid Buu, Devimon, Ansem, Shishio, & Vegeta.  
  
Vegeta: Jack-Ass!!! I am not filling in for my son!! I am forever evil!!! EEEEVVILLLL!!!!!  
  
Kasumi: 'Southern Winds hear my plea, silence the one who claims thy throne of evil! Forever till he learns thy own self's true heart!!'  
  
Vegeta: mouth zips shut Mmm! MMM!!!!!!! MITCH!!!  
  
Inuyasha: stupid bastard....I should've warned him that Kasumi was half dog demon/half witch....oh well....then again...WHY SHOULD I!?  
  
Kasumi: Now Vegeta...Listen.... Are you listening?.....  
  
Vegeta: glares at Kasumi mas mif mi mot ma moice....(translation: as if I got a choice...)  
  
Kasumi: All you have to do is learn your true place in life.....Now back to the ......Villains.......  
  
Vegeta: mait ma mecond! Mi man't malk mike mis mormemer! (translation: Wait a second! I can't talk like this forever!)  
  
Kasumi: yes you can. Learn sign language. It helped my enemies. Now you'll learn too. NOW ON TO THE GAME!  
  
Naiomi: first of all....THE COIN TOSS! We must decide who's going to play defense!  
  
Haruko: ok...we want a clean and fair game...oh whatever! Give 'em hell! tosses coin and runs off the field  
  
Ansem and Son Pan watch as the coin falls  
  
Pan: I got heads!  
  
Ansem: NO! I got heads!  
  
Pan: glares at Ansem I GOT HEADS!  
  
Yura: pulls out tons of skulls I GOT HEADS!  
  
Kasumi: YO!! SLUT!! Get your ugly ass off the field!!!  
  
Yura: pouts I thought they wanted to buy heads....  
  
Naiomi: uses wind powers to blow Yura out of the stadium  
  
Yura: sounding like Arnold Schwartzengier I'LL BE BACK!!!!  
  
Naiomi: smirks no need to thank me folks! That's what I'm here for!  
  
Kasumi: stares sourly yeah...right....  
  
Ansem: Girl give me heads or I'll turn you into a heartless!!!  
  
Riku: runs out on the field WHO SAID YOU COULD BE HERE!?  
  
Ansem: Naraku hired me to be the coach.   
  
Everyone: glares at Naraku  
  
Naraku: I feel hated.  
  
Kasumi: looks over at Inuyasha Can I PLEASE set him on fire!!!!????  
  
Inuyasha: NO! I SAID I WAS GOING TO KILL HIM! turns to Naraku NARAKU! YOU'RE DEAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Naraku: try your best dog-boy! I'll kick your ass any day!  
  
Inuyasha: stares at Naraku sourly And you're the one to talk....WHY!?!?!?!?  
  
Miroku: because he's stupid-puppet using-girly girl-gay lesbo- trans- sexual!  
  
Sango: Miroku...I have taught you well!  
  
Everyone: stares at Sango  
  
Sango: shifty eyes NOT LIKE THAT!  
  
Naiomi: OH YEAH! DID I FORGET TO MENTION THE CHEERLEADERS?  
  
Kasumi: uh...yeah?  
  
Naiomi: well... the cheerleaders are Kagome, Sango, Kikyo......  
  
Kasumi: WHAT!? That bitch is here!?  
  
Kikyo: I KNOW YOU AIN'T TALKING ABOUT ME!  
  
Kasumi: SO WHAT IF I AM BITCH!?  
  
Kikyo: THEN DIE!  
  
Kasumi: I'LL MEET YOU IN HELL BITCH!  
  
Kikyo: freezes and thinks if she goes to hell....then Inuyasha will be there with both of us... speaks DAMN YOU DOG-GIRL-BITCH!  
  
Naiomi: OK!!!! LET'S GET ON WITH THE FUCKING GAME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Everyone: stares at Naiomi  
  
Sesshomaru: Since when do you cuss!?  
  
Naiomi: blushes in embarrassment Opps...sorry...heat of the moment....  
  
Kasumi: I'm still not happy about this.....  
  
Naiomi: TOUGH LUCK! Continuing with the cheerleaders.... Cheza, Keiko, Botan, Chichi, Bulma, Bra, Mamimi, Mimi, Kari, Kairi, Kaoru, Magumi, and.....SHIPPO!  
  
Shippo: runs into the stadium dramatically  
  
All girls (except Kasumi): AWW!!!! HE'S SO KAWAII!!!!!  
  
All guys: rolls eyes please....  
  
Kasumi: o...k...I'm getting annoyed. We're going to start the game soon!  
  
Naiomi: COMERCIAL!!!!  
  
Kasumi: NOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
End of Chapter 1 


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: and to those who think our fic isn't funny....you're screwed in the head! we really don't care what you think because well...you're one person out of a million who might not find it funny. And to let you know...we put in flamer bashing in our fics.

Chapter 2- The sleeping beauty and....D....  
  
Kasumi: FINALLY!!!!!!! We're back!  
  
Naiomi: that commercial about the homicidal monkey was funny....  
  
Kasumi: Echo made it. It's her fault that when I stared in it that I lost my lucky charm to her monkey "Jimmy"....  
  
Naiomi: no...that was me...  
  
Kasumi: YOU FED MY CHARM TO JIMMY!?!?!? YOU !#$%!&%!$%!&!  
  
( censored for EXTREMLY bad foreign language from Taikawapago...thanks to Inuyasha...)  
  
Inuyasha: NOW she listens to what I say....  
  
Kasumi: that charm wasn't a charm...  
  
Naiomi: then what was it?  
  
Kasumi: the jewel shards....  
  
Naiomi: O.o maybe that's why Jimmy grew an extra head and is now 40 feet tall...o.O  
  
crowd runs out of stadium due to Jimmy stomping on the field and stands  
  
[please stand by]  
  
Kasumi: O.o I'm sick of this place...my best friend's a psycho, and all my other friends are stupid beyond belief....  
  
Inuyasha: YOU CALLING ME STUPID!?!?!?  
  
Kasumi: no....maybe....no...  
  
Inuyasha: when are we gonna play? Cause I wanna kick Sesshomaru's ass.  
  
Sesshomaru: we'll see who kicks who's ass, little brother...why don't we make it more interesting?  
  
Inuyasha: smirks a bet?  
  
Sesshomaru: Tetsusaiga.  
  
Inuyasha: then I get Tokijin.  
  
Sesshomaru: TT why do you want a sword that doesn't want you?  
  
Inuyasha: I'VE BEEN ASKING YOU THE SAME THING FOR THREE YEARS!!!!!  
  
Sesshomaru: Tetsusaiga's a different story. Tokijin was made from a demon who has a grudge against you. Tetsusaiga wasn't.  
  
Inuyasha: IT WAS MADE FROM OUR FATHER!!!!!!! OF COURSE IT WON'T HAVE A GRUDGE AGAINST ME!  
  
Sesshomaru: and your point is?  
  
Inuyasha: YOU WANNA PICK A FIGHT CROSSDRESSER!?  
  
Kasumi: URSAI YOU TWO! YOU'RE GIVING ME A HEADACHE!!!! AND Inuyasha KNOWS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN I GET A HEADACHE!!!  
  
Inuyasha: O.o not the evil frying pan again! cowers behind Sesshomaru PLEASE! Keep it away from me!!!!!!!  
  
Kasumi: picks up evil frying pan and I know how to use it too! Don't forget I can band you from getting ramen....  
  
Inuyasha: NOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Leon: I'M HERE! SORRY! I OVERSLEPT!  
  
Everyone: turns to Leon who are you?  
  
Count D: hello! It's Tea time! I brought green tea!  
  
Everyone: HI D!  
  
Leon: jaw drops how do you know D but not know me?!  
  
Everyone: D gave us our pets! holds up crowd of cats, dogs, and exotic animals  
  
Leon: not this again...it's Chinatown all over again...  
  
Count D: not likely officer. We're in Los Angelos. Not San Francisco.  
  
Shippo: but I thought we were in-  
  
Sango and Miroku cover Shippo's mouth San Francisco!  
  
Count D: oh! Miroku! I must have missed you! would you like a pet from my store? I brought T-chan with me!  
  
Leon: praying please let him buy T-chan! please let him buy T-chan!  
  
Miroku: sorry I'm not into goats.  
  
Leon: NOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Count D: turns to Leon oh yeah....you wanted to buy T-chan, didn't you officer?  
  
Leon: NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Count D: ok! ok! don't get your underwear in a bunch! Have some tea. It'll calm you down.  
  
Kasumi: CAN WE GET ON WITH THE GAME!? WE'VE BEEN HERE FOR OVER AN HOUR ALREADY!  
  
Naiomi: ok...all the players get out on the field...and the REAL players need to go home! This isn't Hooters!  
  
Everyone: looks at Miroku  
  
Miroku: what? I'm a player!  
  
Everyone: we know.  
  
Miroku: I'm in the game!  
  
Everyone: we know.  
  
Miroku: FLAG FOOTBALL PEOPLE!  
  
Everyone: oh....  
  
Mickey Mouse and Kenshin Himura gather up all weapons  
  
Sesshomaru: growls touch my sword and die, mouse.  
  
Mickey: that's KING mouse to you! now hand it over!  
  
Sesshomaru: growls as he hesitantly hands Mickey Tokijin and Tensegai if there's ONE scratch on my swords-  
  
Mickey: yeah, yeah, I know the routine! Now shut up!  
  
Sesshomaru: growls stupid mouse...  
  
Riku: walks up stop harassing Mickey.  
  
Sesshomaru: and who's gonna stop me, runt?  
  
Riku: glares at Sesshomaru as Shadow blade appears in his hand Say that again, punk!  
  
Kenshin: hand the weapon over, Riku. You know the rules. Remember what happened last time?  
  
Sora: HELL YA! I LOST A BUTT CHEEK IN THAT GAME! I'm never sword fighting with Riku again...I can't sit down properly anymore...  
  
Kairi:blush I don't know any of you....  
  
Kikyo: HAHAHA! AND YOU SAY I'M DESPERATE FOR A BOYFRIEND! YOU GOT A BOYFRIEND WITH ONE BUTTCHEEK!  
  
Kairi: glares at Kikyo say that again bitch!  
  
Naiomi: OK!!!!! On with the game!  
  
Kasumi: No wait! I wanna see this! I got tickets! Who's got the popcorn!?  
  
Kikyo and Kairi start cat-fighting  
  
Kasumi: munching on popcorn who's got the butter?  
  
Naiomi: here. hands Kasumi the butter while selling the last two front row tickets  
  
Riku and Sora: blush  
  
Inuyasha: I'm SOOOO glad we're over!  
  
Kagome: looks at Inuyasha and smiles HA! HE ADMITS IT!  
  
Inuyasha: what?  
  
Kasumi: Kagome...you LOONG gone! He admitted it a while ago.  
  
Kagome: when?  
  
Kasumi: when you were off flirting with Hojo  
  
Inuyasha: glaring at Kagome YOU WERE WHAT!?!?!?!?!  
  
Kagome: blush um...uh...um...  
  
Kasumi: laughs I SAW YOU TWO ALSO AT THE MALL!!!!  
  
Kagome: what were you doing at the mall spying?!  
  
Kasumi: I wasn't spying....I was buying a new pair of jeans for my old teddy bear that my mom wanted me to keep on account of it was my cousin's when he was little.  
  
Kenshin: blush Mr. Fuzzy?  
  
Kasumi: I renamed him "Mr. Kill-A-Lot"!  
  
Kenshin: YOU RENAMED MR. FUZZY!? YOU'RE EVIL!! EEEVVIILLLL!!!!!!!!  
  
Kasumi: No, no, Repenting remember?  
  
Kenshin: eye twitches do I have to right now? We're in the middle of a demonic football game.  
  
Leon: DEMONIC!? WHERE THE HELL ARE WE!? IN SOME SENGOKU JIDAI!?  
  
Everyone: NO DUH!  
  
Leon: eye twitches I feel dumb...  
  
Naiomi: before we get TOO into this. We need to get back to the game.  
  
Kasumi: but it was getting good!  
  
Naiomi: BUT YOU'R THE ONE WHO WANTED TO START THE GAME!  
  
Commercial  
  
Kasumi: it's the heroes on defense and the villains get the ball...damn you Naraku...  
  
Naraku: go to hell! I hope you die in the pit of miasma you're going to fall in!  
  
Kasumi: and I hope you die in a room filled with Teletubbies and all their home movies!  
  
Naraku: eye twitches Teletubbies....I hate Poe...  
  
Naiomi: ON WITH THE FUCKING GAME!  
  
Everyone: stares at Naiomi  
  
Naiomi: HEAT OF THE MOMENT PEOPLEZ!!!!!!!!  
  
Kick off  
  
Kasumi: And there's the snap!!!!  
  
Naiomi: and Suzaku has the ball! Suzaku runs down the field and....OOO!!!! he gets dog-piled by all the heroes and...Koga?  
  
Kasumi: Koga...you dog-pilein' the wrong team....  
  
Naiomi: and the penalty's accepted. Now the ref's gonna decide who gets the kick.  
  
Mamimi: so...Ta-kun...were you supposed to have the ball? Or was the other team?  
  
Naota: the other-  
  
Miroku and Inuyasha cover Naota's mouth  
  
Inuyasha: we have the ball.  
  
Kasumi:thinking Should I say anything? Nah!!!!  
  
Ansem: Cheaters!!!!  
  
Kasumi: Ansem shut the fuck up!!! Before I do a silencing spell on you and ya'll get disqualified!!  
  
Ansem:mumbles bitch...  
  
Kasumi: I HEARD THAT!  
  
Ansem: so? You are!  
  
Kasumi: thank you. I am a female dog. I am a girl after all.  
  
Ansem: really? I thought you were a guy!  
  
Kasumi: ass-wipe! concentrates on Ansem  
  
Ansem: spontaneously combusts  
  
Everyone: oooooo....purty fireworks....  
  
Inuyasha: glares at Kasumi what did I say about your powers?  
  
Kasumi: But he asked for It!  
  
Sora: THANK YOU KASUMI!!!!!  
  
Inuyasha: fine. This time it's okay because Ansem was an asshole. But no more powers!  
  
Kasumi: crosses fingers behind back I promise....  
  
Kagome: SHE'S CROSSING HER FINGERS! EVERYONE KNOWS IT MEANS A LIE!  
  
Sora: SHUT UP KAGOME!  
  
Kagome: Hmph! Bastard!  
  
Kasumi: Really... A rat should learn her on Kagome  
  
Kagome:Kagome starts to shrink and grows fur, a long naked tail, and a muzzle and whiskers. Squeak!!!!!  
  
Everyone: Eeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Inuyasha: blinks Ka-Go-Me? is that you?  
  
Kagome: in a VERY squeaky voice who do you think!? Of course it's me ya moron!  
  
Kasumi: yeah...we really see how much she cares about you....  
  
Inuyasha: Kagome? Are you a rat?  
  
Kikyo: RAT!? EWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!! chases after Kagome and tries to stomp on her GROSS!!! RAT!!! EWW!!!  
  
Kasumi: Hey only I can pick on her unless you want to join her I suggest you stop!  
  
Kikyo: Are you challenging me?  
  
Kasumi: HELL YEAH!  
  
Naiomi: NO! she's not! We're getting back to get game before the next -  
  
Commercial  
  
Naiomi: this isn't happening....  
  
Kasumi: and the score's.....6 to...0? With the villains in the lead.  
  
Naiomi: how in hell did Koga get that score?  
  
Kasumi: he snuck to the field goal line while everyone was staring at the Kagome-rat. I feel so proud of myself.  
  
Naiomi: yeah, yeah, we know. But on with the game.  
  
Koga throws the ball and Inuyasha intercepts  
  
Koga: THAT WAS MY BALL YOU MUTT!  
  
Inuyasha: where's your name then? Bye-bye! Inuyasha runs to the field goal line  
  
Inuyasha looks down at the ball to notice it's gone  
  
Inuyasha: what the-!?  
  
Sesshomaru: smirks thanks for the ball.  
  
Everyone: turns toward the field goal line to see Sesshomaru standing there.  
  
Naiomi: now the score's....12 to 0....this is a great start....  
  
Kasumi: love sarcasm! But I still say they cheated!!!!  
  
Naiomi: let's go to commercial....


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3- Half time  
  
Naiomi: half time show! I love it!  
  
Kasumi: here's the entertainment...BRITTANY SPEARS!? ??  
  
Naiomi: ??  
  
Brittany: singing hit me baby one more time!  
  
Janet Jackson (J.J.): bitch!  
  
Brittany: still singing who you calling a bitch!?  
  
JJ: you hoe!  
  
Brittany: stops singing now I KNOW you ain't talking about me!  
  
JJ: you a flashing hoe!  
  
Brittany: I know you ain't talking after that run in with Justin....MY EX- BOYFRIEND!  
  
JJ: completely innocent! Unlike you and that SEE-THROUGH body suit on Toxic!  
  
Kasumi: Kenshin please go restrain Miss. Jackson!!! We don't need malice right now!!  
  
Kenshin: do I have to?  
  
Crowd: YES!!!!  
  
Kenshin: cautiously approaches the two singers ladies please! Janet-dono! Brittany...er...dono!  
  
Brittany: smirks at Kenshin hey cutie...  
  
Kenshin: uh...  
  
Koaru: runs and whacks Brittany with broom BITCH! HOE! SLUT! STAY AWAY FROM HIM!  
  
Magumi: hits Koaru over head with pan STAY AWAY FROM KENSHIN!!!!!  
  
Brittany: my head...do I have a hangover?  
  
Miroku: YEAH! MOST LIKELY!  
  
Sango: claps good boy  
  
Kiba: whispers to Toboe  
  
Toboe: do I have to?  
  
Kiba: nods  
  
Toboe: groans man... walks up to Brittany in wolf form and acts cute  
  
Brittany: KAWAII!!!!!!!!!!!!! plays with Toboe's ears and pets him  
  
Inuyasha: eyes twitch for once it's not me...thank kami....  
  
Brittany: continues to play with Toboe's ears  
  
JJ: stupid bitch...  
  
Brittany: too occupied playing with Toboe's ears  
  
security rushes in and drags JJ off the field  
  
JJ: HEY! WHAT DID I DO!?!?  
  
Officer: you're under arrest for disturbing the peace.  
  
Haruko: disturbing the peace? It's five o'clock already? pulls out guitar and shoots everything in sight  
  
Kasumi and Naiomi duck under table  
  
Kasumi: who called security in the first place?  
  
Keiko: that would be me.  
  
Kasumi: WHAT!? How'd you get under here?  
  
Keiko: I crawled. How else? By the way. hands Kasumi her cell phone You may want this back.  
  
Kasumi: takes cell phone then growls  
  
Naiomi: eyes go wide   
  
Keiko: runs and hides behind an already dead Yuskue.  
  
Haruko: jumps under table hello! shoots Naiomi until she dies  
  
Kasumi: whacks Haruko over the head with....Naota!? and knocks her out why did we hire her as a ref anyways?  
  
[football game cancelled due to all the players (not Miroku's type of player!) being dead] 


End file.
